Thesis Enthusiast Gifts

His Master's Thesis.

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

Burning the midnight oil.

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

Scarcity

"Doing your homework may lead to a job that has homework."

"O.K., O.K., people - we're not workshopping these, they're already set in stone."

'When I asked you to do research for your assignment, I meant the library not on Google!'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

'No, Timmy, we are not supposed to connect them.'

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

Congratulations! All that cramming paid off.

Priest

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

Six Thinking Hats

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'It's time to move out when Mom says...'

'It wasn't actually written by God. The Lord used holy ghost writers.'

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

"At least we agree to disagree."

'I need to read five books this weekend to graduate - any suggestions?'

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

Lots of famous art may have been inspired by taxes. Jackson Pollack's "Number 5" could be a visual representation of global regulations. And perhaps Rodin's "The Thinker" is a man trying to understand those rules. Maybe Roy Lichtenstein's "Ohhh ... Alright ..." shows a woman being told to continue holding to get her tax question answered. And they there's Edvard Munch's "The Scream" ... Nothing makes you feel like that more than preparing a tax return!

'What I did on my summer vacation: I wrote about what I had done the rest of the year.'

'We were kind of hoping to let our CONSCIENCE be our guide.'

Okay, I'll admit I was wrong. But I won't say what I was wrong about.

A Freudian slip...

"Discussion topic: Is our society becoming less civil and more violent?"

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

Women's sportswear - Sale on paradigm shifts.

'What do you mean 'theoretically'? Everything we do is theoretical.'