Writing Enthusiast Gifts

"The narrative seems contrived."

"I love your novel, and I feel that it would make excellent nesting material."

Where Earl Gets His Ideas

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

'My teacher wants me to use less cliches in my reports. I'm going to have to avoid cliches like the plague.'

Lincoln trying to write the Gettysburg Address.

"Don't get me wrong Miss Shelley, potentially you have the nuts and bolts of a good novel here."

Tell the author your idea for a book at 3 pm.

"You'd think muses would get book credit mentions."

"Writing that book was a real strain."

Flying Pen

"I just hope you had to labor as hard to write it as I did to finish it."

Mourning Pens

'And on the left is the world famous writer's block...'

Jerome K Jerome.

'I'll blurb you if you'll blurb me.'

"Ms. Holder, in the future, please refrain from using hearts in the place of periods."

"The King suggests trying a gratitude journal."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

Thomas Mann.

First Novels.

Nathaniel Hawthorne

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

The Dorrie Decimal System

'He likes to power nap.'

Blue Stockings

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

"Now I really hate poetry."

Television Readers.

Voltaire

"My novel is not a doorstop!"