Writing Style Aficionado Gifts

'And always remember that it is the gritty colon itself, not the half-baked semi-colon, that wields the power to confound even the most erudite minds.'

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

"Meet The Author"

Accelerated reading. Slowpoke reading,

The Dorrie Decimal System

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Blue Stockings

'He likes to power nap.'

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

My Dad, trying to look young. The cap hides his bald spot and the sweatshirt hides his gut!

John Bunyan

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

Don Quixote

"The low-res JPEG of Dorian Gray"

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

'You have to Marvell eh - 'annihalating all that's made to a green thought in a green shade.''

"I don't care if it is itty-bitty. Turn it off!"

Sue the Author 3PM

Gunter Grass

"Oh, this old thing?"

Trilby - 'Je prong!'

Stephen Spender.

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

It was the best of times, it was the wasrtn blanfil trmsl... It was the bnarfy foodel pook. Arghh! Darn reader's block.

What would Charlotte Bronte do, she thought to herself.

'Amount of white out used while writing, Moby Dick, an issue of The National Enquirer, and 101 Uses for a Dead Cat.'

"It's felt to be his most thought provoking work."

Moby Dick

'The pile of unread books by the bed looks bigger than the futon...'

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

"Barb's such a fast reader."