Error Code Decoder Gifts

Unknown computer error.

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

DIY horror.

'Physical or Social Science?'

Information vs. confusion

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"Problem?"

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

404 British military deaths in Afghanistan.

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

Room for Error

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

'Is this a Greek restaurant?'

"This is my voice mail."

"So what's the emoji for 'low-hanging fruit?'"

"The chocolate pudding is chef's digital signature dish."

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."

'I think we took a wrong turn.'

Marooned Optometrist