Error Code Decoder Pillows

Unknown computer error.

"The data looks good, sir, but the vibes are mucho heavioso."

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

'I know! It's what I had last night for dinner.'

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

What Guys Say and What They Mean,

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'

"Just so I’m understanding the menu, the ‘Old Forge wheel with rosemary-infused pancetta’ is essentially a $36 Hot Pocket?"

DIY horror.

'Stocks shot up. . . no one on the committee could understand a word that Bernanke was saying.'

'Physical or Social Science?'

Information vs. confusion

'I heard it through the grapevine.'

"And here you have a brown thing next to something greenish, with some sort of brown runny stuff underneath it."

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

Market Research - "I'm trying to remember to pick up a loaf of bread, but there's a 38% probability that I'll forget."

"The are 10 types of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't."

"Problem?"

"Well, yes, I suppose I could explain the test results in 'plain English' — but then you'd know how sick you are."

404 British military deaths in Afghanistan.

'I'll be right with you after I've checked my messages, dear...'

'It's this one here, that I don't understand.'

"But how can my taxes exceed my income?"

'On the paupiettes de boeuf a la hongroise, which part is the hongroise?'

"The doctors call it Polymyositis, but I call it 'Military Arthritis' because it comes with a lot of fatigue."

Room for Error

"You got my text... but did you get my subtext?"

"Hey, got your message. Just wanted to let you know you spelled 'desperately' wrong."

'Is this a Greek restaurant?'

'Baby and Child Care Guidelines'

"The chocolate pudding is chef's digital signature dish."

"So what's the emoji for 'low-hanging fruit?'"

"i'm trying to remember the type of California white wine but I like, but my mind keeps drawing a blanc."

"This is my voice mail."

Marooned Optometrist