Enviro-comedian Gifts

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

Albert Einstein

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

'If Earwigs looked like baby seals:'

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

'Hang on a minute: What does 'IVF' mean?!'

'It's an extinction notice.'

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

'I hate to say I told you so, Larry, but that's why you check your car for bears before you put on your seatbelt.'

Penguin

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

"At least, everybody's agreed about the next summit's name!"

'I don't give advice. I'm only up here because it's safer.'

'Catch this!'

'...and this is the water garden...'

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"Of course I care about the environment, I never throw any clothes away."

"I wouldn't take the name 'dog strangling vine' literally."

Where's my global warming?

"I see you have extensive wood chuckery experience."

'It's a government funded study to find out how many wrongs make a right.'

Icebergs talk about CNN appearance and looking thin on TV.

' I think I'm evolving due to global warming.'

The Joshua Tree

"It all comes down to the aging and fermentation process."

Oil Spill Hits Wall St.

This is where Brent council sends you

Planetary Science. What do we call the study of gas giants in space? Gastronomy.

Alligator Bars

"Mum? are you sure thers's such thing as global warming, coz I'm bloody freezing."