Entertainment Reporter Gifts

'Responding to viewer sentiment, we have eliminated world news and expanded our entertainment and sports news.'

'...And now it's time for today's celebrity hissy-fit....'

'We interrupt this program to bring you the latest on the Lindsay Lohan arrest...'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

A Guide to Balloon Animals

The Rooster Comedian.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Television Readers.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Champagne

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Cow Show Tunes

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

Cord cutter

"Bloody hell!"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

End the Winter Blues

The First Fire Stick

Marilyn Monroe - Spot the Difference

The First Annual Game Show Week.

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.