Entertainment Reporter Prints

'Responding to viewer sentiment, we have eliminated world news and expanded our entertainment and sports news.'

Wacko Jacko Heart Attacko No Comebacko

'...And now it's time for today's celebrity hissy-fit....'

'We interrupt this program to bring you the latest on the Lindsay Lohan arrest...'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Take seat. Nothing makes me happier than keeping people warm and cooking s'mores for them. Friendly fire.

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Television Readers.

Champagne

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

A Guide to Balloon Animals

The Rooster Comedian.

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

C'mon, it'll be fun! I'll throw on some stars, pop in a few planets, drum up a life form or two, and this place will be hoppin'! The Big Shebang Theory.

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

Cow Show Tunes

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Bloody hell!"

Cord cutter

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."