Entertainment Host Gifts

Morgue - "Welcome to 'Celebrity Autopsy'"

"Thanks to the Oscars, we're going to be the hottest finger food this season."

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

Showbiz Awards

Children's Parties

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

Cardiac Recovery.

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'Do you do self-deprecating humour?'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

"Sorry, that's not my table."

Fishermen

"I'm Lester Holt, and this, is date night."

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Pinata Trophies

"Good evening several times and welcome to QI. As usual I'll be asking a series of quite interesting questions and some comedians will be doing a lot of knob and fart gags. It's a winning formula!" "Don't knock it. No one likes knockers!" "Speak for yourself!" "Was that an entendre? I'll have a double." "Mine's a large one!"

Coming up: Bush and Kerry will debate on 'saturday night live'...and whoever gets the most laughs will be the winner.'

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Five

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

TV chef sets the TV on fire.

Astrological forecasts of the rich and famous

"... And in Canada today ... nothing happened."

'We'll have to end it there, I'm sorry - we're running out of time.'

'The inaugural address? It's sort of like an opening monologue.'

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

"Oh just ignore him!...he always shows off when we have visitors!"

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

'I'm not sure how you managed to burn a bowl of cereal.'

"Life After a Circus Bankruptcy."

'Tea minus one hour thirty minutes and ten seconds.'