Enlightenment Maven Gifts

'Oh, yeah? -- Well, my true inner self can whip your true inner self!'

Thinking Gears

Ghostwriting the Bible

"Ever since you changed from a frog to a Prince you seem a little jumpy!"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

Adam names the animals (He puts sticky notes on them saying Shaz, Dave, Trish etc).

'The next piece contains sex, violence, and Homeric epithets.'

Myths and legends...

Invisible clothes

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

Wolf to Red Riding Hood: 'No thanks, I'm on a strict grandmother diet.'

Stonehenge Explained

"Like that?"

'I suppose you think that's funny.'

"You said mindfulness could help us do well on the test, so I filled it up with as much as I could last night."

'Very well, I'll introduce you. Ego, meet ID. Now get back to work.'

"Kiss me and I'll turn into a Prince. But I have to be honest with you, if asked about it I'll deny the whole sordid affair!"

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

Moses as a child.

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"I'm in securities." "I'm in insecurities."

Cover Design for Yellow Book Prospectus for Vol 5 (Not Published)

Human Brain

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me we've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the "Middle Ages" is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... Did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you all about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt w

"Do I have to go out again!?"

"You've got to learn to love yourself. Start by 'Friending' yourself on Facebook."

"Returning to standard time is always difficult. I gain an hour of worrying."

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

'I'm putting you on a diet: No more fat knights, maidens only...'

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

'Where the hell's my app for happiness?'

Magic Ring to gain entry into Tolkien Archive