Enlightenment Journey Gifts

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

Voltaire

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

The only way to see the world is to see the world

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

My God, I need to fart.

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"I'm TRYING to extinguish my ego, but I feel so CONSPICUOUS up here!"

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

"Showoff"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Guru.

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

"Look, son, real estate."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"My lessons on Enlightenment are a prerequisite to my graduate-level course on Investing in Derivatives."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"You've been served."

'What I've learnt sitting on this mountain, alone for ten years, is how boring sitting alone on a mountain for ten years is!'

The discoverer of fire meets the discoverer of marijuana

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

'He hasn't been the same since the Goodyear blimp sneaked up behind him.'