Enlightenment Pursuer Gifts

My God, I need to fart.

'He's at the pinnacle, but not at the pinnacle of his PROFESSION.'

'Sure, the food is lousy, but we get pure mountain spring water to drink!'

'Do you ever just feel like getting away from it all?'

'Want to make it two out of three?'

The Promised Land Has Now Moved To Exciting New Premises!

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

'Hey! Contemplate your own navel!'

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

'Oh, I'm not a guru -- I'm just big on personal space.'

'He attained Nirvana in two weeks? - he's GOTTA be using steroids!'

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

"I'd like to book 10 days going anywhere they've never heard of Brexit."

Eagle (The Divine Comedy).

"Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?"

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Showoff"

'Don't be embarrassed ? when I first attained Nirvana, I wet my pants, too.'

Noise Pollution

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

She required plenty of personal space.

Guru.

"I don't care what anybody says, coffee just tastes better in a tree stand. . ."

"You've been served."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"Really? a frikkin' math question?"

"And the meaning of life is.... oh rats, the battery died."