English Expressionist T-Shirts

"I'm writing an inverted sentence like you told me. That's what I'm doing."

Paul Klee

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"Abstract Expressionism is definitely right for me at this stage of my career."

Do you have to play air guitar every time we sing?

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

"Feel better, dear?"

'An aerosol? Are you sure you've thought this through?'

'Kafka! Kandinsky! Kokoschka!'

'You're no Pollock.'

Who are you?

Mime father in the delivery room.

A great new year (for cartoonists).

Metropolitan Art Center current exhibit: Father of the Finger-In-Your-Eye School of Modern Art.

"You text LOL, but you have yet to actualize LOL..."

Quiet Quitting

"Can you just once get to the damn point without the usual embellishments?"

"I've found if I squint my eyes and frown, it looks like I'm concentrating rather than sleeping.".

"Practicing my hate-face."

'My dear boy its a wonderful display of post modern expressionism with overtones of Dada.'

"I can't for the life of me think of a caption for it. I guess I'll just leave it as it is."

Clowns in and out tray 'Grin and Pout'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

'... Geez! This guy's got the poker face from hell.'

Optimism, Pessimist, Surrealist

"Near as I can figure, your painting style is Depressionist."

"I got the idea when I accidentally dropped a tin of paint on a canvas, and some idiot offered me £5,000 for it!"

"Of course, art is one thing, dear - life is another."

"You already showed me a picture of your de Kooning."

'Say when.'

Man chooses head from cupboard.

'Man, I wish I could paint like that.'

'The ailing matisse tries cutting out meat and diary products'

"Fascinating, a dollop of dog crap topped with jelly babies. yes, he's years ahead of his time."