Energy Drink Critic Gifts

Drinks for the post-caffeinated economy

Man dozes off with "Energy Drink"

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'Now, for the hyperactive, we've come up with a lethargy drink.'

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

"Practicing my hate-face."

'The coffee tastes of mud. Is that why you call it 'ground' coffee?'

The New Square Mile Regulator.

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"In other news, oil and gas prices became irrelevant today when scientists announced that pretty much anything can run on caffeine."

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

Creative Juices

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

"Too much caffeine for Mr. Hopper"

'Well, kids, I guess it all started with decaffeinated coffee....'

'This decaf's lousy.'

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

Honest Vending Machine

Exams

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

'I've got a really important meeting today, so give me something that will get me so drunk no one will want to mess with me.'

"Protein bars! Energy drinks!"

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

"Sorry, that was the three cups of coffee, four cans of red bull, and double dose of Paxil talking."

'Coffee overload.'

'Which one has the highest alcohol content?' 'That one.'

"I guess he shouldn't have added an energy drink to the water trough."