Energy Drink Critic Gifts

Drinks for the post-caffeinated economy

Are you questioning the meaning of existence at this point in the race? I'll explain.

Man dozes off with "Energy Drink"

"I'll wait a moment for everyone's energy drink to kick in."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

"Space is curved and time is relative? Yeah, OK...I'm calling you a cab right now, buddy."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

'My - You've matured, my dear.'

'Now, for the hyperactive, we've come up with a lethargy drink.'

'This patch is to quit smoking...this patch is to quit drinking...this patch is to quit drugs...this patch is to quit coffee...and this patch is to quit having any kind of fun whatsover!'

'You are talking about health? Ha! My cig does not have calories, fat, cholesterol, carbohydrates and sugar!'

'How are we supposed to think the unthinkable if we have to drink the drinkable?'

The New Square Mile Regulator.

'The coffee tastes of mud. Is that why you call it 'ground' coffee?'

'Sorry, but we can't serve you the grande size anymore without a prescription.'

"In other news, oil and gas prices became irrelevant today when scientists announced that pretty much anything can run on caffeine."

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

"Practicing my hate-face."

Creative Juices

'Well, kids, I guess it all started with decaffeinated coffee....'

Honest Vending Machine

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

"Too much caffeine for Mr. Hopper"

"...and lay off the energy drinks..."

'This decaf's lousy.'

Exams

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

'I've got a really important meeting today, so give me something that will get me so drunk no one will want to mess with me.'

''Evening, Bob - the usual?'

"I guess he shouldn't have added an energy drink to the water trough."

"Protein bars! Energy drinks!"

'Which one has the highest alcohol content?' 'That one.'

'If I'm to put up with cold coffee and stale biscuits I expect a Much better line in gossip!'