Employment Studies Gifts

"Apparently, fifty is the new unemployed."

Disloyal

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

37 years in the same position.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

Work Slave

Between Offices

In and Out Sourced.

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

'You'll be broadening up your horizons in a cubicle.'

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'