Employment Studies Pillows

"Apparently, fifty is the new unemployed."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'I have this fear of the real world...'

37 years in the same position.

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

Work Slave

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

In and Out Sourced.

Between Offices

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

"Wow...your resume is quite impressive."

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"I'm being heavily recruited by several other companies."

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

"What other skills do you obtain other than being able to answer interview questions?"

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'