Emotionally Inspired Visitor Gifts

'The impressionists always bring a tear to my eye.' - 'I hate them too.'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

The Statue of Liberty holding up an ice-cream.

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

'Sure I sleep all day. She snores all night.'

Touring Holidays - On the P***

"Wow! That's a mean curveball."

Swing by won't you?

'Here be our new flag, me hearties! A truly Jolly Roger, from now on, we're all about bein' upbeat an' optimistical!!'

"He didn't do squat for cats."

'So Grandma's arrived then.'

'Boy, this is a no-nonsense kind of place, isn't it?'

The Best...Nothing but the best scenic route

It had to be you!

A stranger calls to see me

Hercules Poirot meets Pierrot

The unknown soldier: war grave.

'Hey, a pot...ted plant. Bless you, my man.'

Old lady at the door

Fluffy was never quite the same after Aunt Ruby's visit.

Florida Wildlife Today's Featured Species is the Old Goat

"Now when you say you're going to catch the bus, which bus might that be, I wonder?"

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

It's a Limmmo! It's a Limmmo! Wooohoooooo!! : Filled with joy and excitement, Dougie, a seasoned traveller, achieves the dream of all hitchhikers worldwide...he had finally caught the perfect ride

"Animals? Yes, sir, we're working on that."

'Relax buddy'.Said the messenger of death.' This is just a Grim Reaper-a-gram.'

"It's good to see the grandkids, but they're sitting on my stumps."

Please solve this problem by throwing money at it.

"The flower store was closed. You like rhubarb, right?"

"I'm Colin and I steal chips."

A ghost visits a man in a prison cell