Emotional Intelligence Buff Pillows

"Honestly, Baldo...the magical spark between boyfriend and girlfriend...it's just not there for us."

Hug therapy for the lonely at-the-top executives.

"And you're certain these are accidents?"

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

'Look around, son. See if there's one you like. But remember: These are abandoned players, unwanted by their teams - so they might come with some psychological baggage.'

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"But can't I be feared and loved?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"But if you cure my hypochondria I won't have any hobbies."

Banana Split Personality

Large Emoticon Collider

"I disagree — I think humans are funny."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

'Harvey, did you notice what a beautiful full moon we have tonight?'

"Yet she never gains an ounce."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

"Your feelings may be artificial, but that doesn't mean they're not real."

'Occasionally the Dr. asks me to get real with people.'

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"I'm an oldest child trapped in the body of a middle child."

'On the plus side, I give my thanks this Thanksgiving that I'm not a turkey. On the minus side...'

'I screwed up royally!'

"It's nice to feel wanted though, isn't it?"

"All a cat CAN do is strive for authenticity."

The Book Lover

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

'It's just like any other doll except this one needs hours of therapy to work normally.'

"I learned one thing today. Attitude trumps aptitude!"

Psychoanalysis

"Pavlov's dog: Friday night"

'Carl Jung loses it...' 'don't tell me I made a Freudian slip - it's a Jungian slip!'

Healthy Patients Only