Emergency Room Gifts

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

First aid in mountains

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Being Serenading in Casualty

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

First aid departments

'Is it urgent?'

'Where does it hurt?'

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

Doctor Flattened By The ER Rush

'Get the theatre ready we got another one from the cocktail bar.'

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

"Tell her the surgeon is the best in his field and she'll get through this fine!"

'Next.'

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

Operation/Grim Reaper

A paramedic-in-training's nightmares.

Extreme sports injuries ward.

Fire Assembly Point

Emergency Room: 'Quick! Get some ice on this injury.'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

Using a Defibrillator a paramedic can tell if Pinocchio is lying.

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