Emergency Room Explorer Gifts

Surgical Operation.

A&E Department: "Take a seat!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Being Serenading in Casualty

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

Clinical Trails. . . Prevention . . . Detection. . . Diagnosis. . . Treatment.

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

'I'm sorry, but I can't tell you which room the star basketball player is recovering in.'

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'Next.'

'Where toilet?.' 'Toilet lady graphic sign.'

"The good news is the frustration of filling out all this paperwork will keep your mind off your pain."

'I told you we should have packed a lunch.'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

'There's been a little mixup, Mr. Root. The computer has the virus not you.'

'Our experimental laser O.R. is in there.'

"He fought like hell."

"We must be in the wrong wing."

'Let's order one more MRI, just to play it safe.'

"Do you know your name? Do you know where you are? Do you remember the accident? Do you know you had a hole in your underpants?"

'Nothing to be alarmed about Mrs.Harvey, kids do this sort of things all the time. I'm sure whatever your Jimmy's gotten lodged up there, we can get it out.'

"He's one of the presidential candidates who got hurt in the debate fight."

'I'm afraid the doctor can't see you today. You could visit his web page instead.'

"Your tests are back. We've ruled out anything covered by your HMO."

"Actually, what doesn't kill you just raises the cost of everyone's insurance"

"We have male patient coming in who has a large parsnip stuck up his colon!"

'How's my son? He swallowed 50p?'

Unsuitable hospital reading material.

'My husband was recently admitted. Can you direct me to the hypochondria department?'

'I thought we didn't have to know the spleen.'