Emergency Room Regular Gifts

"I need a T.V. in my room, STAT!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Being Serenading in Casualty

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

First aid departments

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'Is it urgent?'

'Where does it hurt?'

'Where does it hurt?'

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

'Get the theatre ready we got another one from the cocktail bar.'

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

Extreme sports injuries ward.

Operation/Grim Reaper

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

CLEAR!

'Next.'

Musical Accidents

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

Emergency Room: 'Quick! Get some ice on this injury.'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

'I can only describe it as one of those symptoms that goes away whenever I see a doctor.'

Using a Defibrillator a paramedic can tell if Pinocchio is lying.

"He fought like hell."