Emergency Room Regular Pillows

"I need a T.V. in my room, STAT!"

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

Surgeon finds a doohickey on the patient's thingamabob.

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Being Serenading in Casualty

"BBC One’s Casualty has reached its 1000th episode. The long-running hospital drama is apparently very popular with viewers... But even more popular among jobbing actors."

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

'No, no, no. Shout 'clear' BEFORE zapping him.'

In case of overcrowding in the ER break glass.

"Dr. Eliot, would you let the dog out?"

'Hey, this guy's been operated on before!'

First aid departments

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

'Two Aspirins'...'Brain Tumor'

'Is it urgent?'

'Where does it hurt?'

'Where does it hurt?'

'Looks like we could have a pandemic on our hands.'

It would be so great if, just once, someone didn't waltz in here complaining about something. Emergency.

"Sorry -- The doctor is out -- But we have like 10 influencers available."

'Get the theatre ready we got another one from the cocktail bar.'

'For my family, Christmas and New Year's Eve is the busiest time... my husband is a spirits dealer and my son is an emergency doctor!'

Santa Claus stuck in a chimney sitting in a hospital emergency room.

'Who's your next of kin? When did you last eat or drink? Do you have any allergies? Are you wearing clean underpants?'

'Next.'

Operation/Grim Reaper

CLEAR!

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

Musical Accidents

Extreme sports injuries ward.

Emergency Room: 'Quick! Get some ice on this injury.'

Hospital: Accident and Emergency and On Purpose and Suffering Nicely.

'I can only describe it as one of those symptoms that goes away whenever I see a doctor.'

Using a Defibrillator a paramedic can tell if Pinocchio is lying.