Emergency Procedures Gifts

Fire Exit

Fire Assembly Point

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

First aid in mountains

Emergency Phone.

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

Frontline health workers

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

Prepper Dog

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

Decontamination

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

'Is it urgent?'

'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'

'Where does it hurt?'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

'It was an exciting party, especially when the firemen came to put out the fire!'

"When I said hair transplant I meant more than one."

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

"Sorry, it will have to be fire, police or ambulance. Superman is busy right now."

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.

"I'm a busy man Jenkins. This better be important!"