Emergency Procedures Gifts

Fire Exit

Fire Assembly Point

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"If you don't want stitches, that's fine. Suture self."

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

First aid in mountains

Emergency Phone.

"Does anyone know where we keep the unwritten rules?"

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

Frontline health workers

Look on the bright side...they'll probably name a disease after you.

"I'm sure he'll pull through. He's always been a real fighter."

Ship upsidedown in a bottle has rescue boat in bottle next to it.

Don't worry, the first 30 years as a paramedic are the hardest.

"911, what is your major malfunction?"

Boston Marathon: The First Responders.

'I've decided I'm going to be a fireman when I grow up.'

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

Prepper Dog

Decontamination

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

Things Mothers don't want to hear from their five year olds...

'Is it urgent?'

'What do you mean, you've had a change of heart?'

"We found a problem with your bill. It's too low. But I'm confident we can get it into the unaffordabe range soon."

'Where does it hurt?'

Doctor to overweight patient: 'I assure you, stomach stapling is quite routine these days.'

'It was an exciting party, especially when the firemen came to put out the fire!'

"When I said hair transplant I meant more than one."

'Sorry, shortage of staff.'

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

Bomb disposal officer sits at desk near workboxes: IN/ ERT.