Election Evader Gifts

Anger Management - Now Treating "Electoral College Rage"

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

'No, but thanks for asking,'

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

Election Cancelling Headphones

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

'My philosophy is to sit down and the hell with being counted.'

"Is it possible to put in in a coma until after the election?"

Cunning as a Fox hey? Well, I saw you cheating Mister! D-Minus!

'Yes, I'm home early. We had a school fire drill, so naturally I sought the safety of our house.'

"So...what did you learn in school today, Baldo?"

'I had it all - then the IRS found where I had it hidden.'

'About my accrued holdiay pay...can you mail it to my offshore account?'

Abandon claculators all ye who enter here.

'What's the point of having a luxury car if you put it in the garage at night?'

Travel Agent - 'The election's certainly got the voters out!'

'Anything to get out of taking a bath.'

'I'' be in the basement, Amy... below the radar.'

Infernal Revenue Service

"I have a prescription for my test anxiety."

Sign in the bathroom: 'Employees must wash the stench of politics from their minds.'

"Can we, just for a moment, your Honor, ignore the facts?"

Car driving on tube line - 'They'll do anything to avoid the new congestion charge.'

Fiction: 'Filling in your tax returns'

"Thank God you're just my wife's lover! I thought you were from the Inland Revenue!"

"It could be worse, at least we don't have to vote in this weather."

Two guys in golf cart: 'You didn't get out and vote?' - 'Are you kidding me.....?'

Still Not Over The Election

"I'm sick and can't come to school today. Do you need a loaner?"

"What an exhausting weekend! I made too may commitments Friday during Happy Hour and spent Saturday and Sunday weaseling out of them."