Election Escapists Gifts

Two guys in golf cart: 'You didn't get out and vote?' - 'Are you kidding me.....?'

"I'd like to book 10 days going anywhere they've never heard of Brexit."

'No hay, no grooming, no mucking out and they live in the broom cupboard!'

Anger Management - Now Treating "Electoral College Rage"

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

"We're going to play the boss's favorite game - 'pin the blame on the scapegoat.'"

"At last - no Trump."

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

Election Cancelling Headphones

"Is it possible to put in in a coma until after the election?"

Employee of the Month: One of the perks of self-employment

'I keep wondering what they're saying about us at the bank this cold,damp,Monday morning..'

Overworked colleague calling the Samaritans.

'We're being offered a two-week vacation on a tropical island.'

"Whatever."

"3....2....1.....Coming, ready or not....."

'This off-shore tax avoidance isn't as glamorous as I thought it would be.'

Last day of school.

'In the eventuality of a double dip...'

"I'm going somewhere without cell service because I'm incapable of turning my phone off myself."

Travel Agent - 'The election's certainly got the voters out!'

Bob learned to redirect his pent-up fury. Rather than postal, he went coastal.

'Trump Free Hour 4-7'

"As you leave this year behind, remember you did your best to soar with eagles, to be the best you can be, best of luck, my honorable students."

"My new favorite news station. . . non-stop, 24/7, 100% Trump-Free."

'I'm beginning to enjoy these long walks with you every day.'

'Due to the economy, we've replaced Financial News with a new segment called 'Pictures of Puppies and Kittens.''

"It could be worse, at least we don't have to vote in this weather."

"Short term Trump presidency cryogenic stays sure have improved business."

Fearful someone would recognize him and send him back to the Republican Party, Josh traveled light.

Ask about our new p-chip to tune out politics.

'These hibernation pills will let you sleep through the recession without any panic attacks.'

THE PLAYBOY CHANNEL. 'I have to get my mind off politics somehow!'