Education Welfare Officer Gifts

Child catcher from 'Chitty, Chitty, Bang, Bang' as a truancy prevention officer.

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"No Timmy, I don't think your pencil has system requirments or upgrades you can download from the internet."

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'What does it say, Dad?'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

Staff Yearbook

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'I got and 'E' in spelling.' - 'That is an 'F'.'

'Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Snoopy - do you have a stamp commemorating an educational leader?'

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

Another shot heard round the world.

What must every 5 paragraph essay contain? 5 paragraphs! For the last 18 years, some wise guy says that as if no one's heard it before. Congratulations. Who was this year's Mr. Predictable? You're wrong, Mr. K. A girl said it. Wow! Another triumph for women's equality in my classroom.

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

'If school is so important, why isn't it on television?'

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'And let such sacrilege go uncontested? Never! I demand equal time for alternate explanations of things.'

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'So feared her prince may turn back into a frog so she went to college and earned a degree in finance, just in case.'

'...Do not feed the bears'

Studying and technology

'It may not be a great report card but it beat the street expectations.'

A Brain Drain

"And what did my little darling do in school today?"

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."