Adult Education Worker Gifts

'Hello, Learn Direct, how can I help? Hello, Learn Direct...'

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"It's no my fault I got a D. The system is broken."

"You may have been the victim of a mis-sold PFI contract."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"He said he doesn't want to see me in his office again..."

'What does it say, Dad?'

"It says here that humans are the only member of the animal kingdom who can have sex any time, any place."

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'I didn't think of it as someone else writing my term paper, I thought of it more as a guest blogger situation.'

Early Learning Today

'Al, this is Jack. He's with the Committee to Eliminate the Board of Education. Jack, this is Al. He's with the Committee to Increase Funding for the Board of Education.'

"I might have to go to school forever because the more I know the more I know I don't know."

Teacher has two boxes: "Book Smart" and "Street Smart"

"A wage increase to match inflation."

Boy scout replaces Atlas during Bob-a-Job Week.

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"I wouldn't mind...But he's the teacher."

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

Snacks for Learners

A Brain Drain

'I know the kids don't like you and pick on you, but you have to go to school...you're the teacher.'

'Where do you see yourself in five years?'

Welcome back students.

'By the second week of instruction all first-graders should be able to count to one.'

"So basically you're telling us that you make the youngest of your species sit in a room for twelves years and that is an education. . . you're kidding, right?"

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

Global Education

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'