Employee Well-being Officer Gifts

"We're usually pretty good at spotting job burn-out before it gets bad, but every now and then, someone slips under our radar!"

"Staff support"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

Office Ergonomics.

"It's hard to keep good people."

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

Performance Management: "We decided to get rid of the stick and just use the carrots."

'Many of our employees are under a lot of pressure. This keeps them from getting the bends if they begin to unwind too quickly.' (Decompression chamber)

"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."

"My sensitivity trainer says I have to say 'good morning.'"

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

Unhappy, Happy, and Well Being Consultant Theatre Masks.

'I hear they've named a new stress syndrome after me.'

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

Office Safety.

'No, Stanworth, feeling sick of your job does not qualify you for sick leave.'

'We got here too late. All his fizz is gone!'

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

"The company offers free Yoga and aerobics. You'll bend over backwards and jump through hoops."

Healthy and happy workers are productive workers!

The HR department at the tech company allowed Randy the use of their therapy robot.

'People aren't happy enough...I want a 15% increase in happiness by the 1st of the month or heads will roll!'

"Why did you just dump my kiwi-colada smoothie on my head?" "I'm glad you (huff) asked." "Studies (huff) show that sitting all (huff) day long behind a desk leads (huff) to obesity, sickness, (huff) toe-swelling (huff) and an early, (huff) excruciating (huff) death." "So more (huff) and more (huff) office workers are using (huff) standing desks (huff) with treadmills." "Have you ever (huff) tried handing someone (huff) a smoothie while running (huff) on a treadmill?" "They walk. ...walk."