Office Wellness Warrior Gifts

Part of the company's new fitness progress, I presume.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

"Okay, now breathe another sigh of relief."

Self help acupuncture

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Well, well, well...'

Be Healthy

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"Your contents have shifted."

Businessman uses yoga moves while reviewing financial news on computer

"Your bad cholesterol is trying to persuade your good cholesterol to switch sides."

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"Another one so relaxed, she couldn't walk out of here."

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Kid with 'Little Wellness Facilitator' kit

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

'Dog eat dog.'

'I hate Mondays.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

FIGHT STRESS: Walk-A-Thon

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

Shrinks in heaven

"You're in perfect health and look half your age – I'm prescribing something to help you shut up about it."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'