Education System Humorist Gifts

'Bash Street Acadamy - Logistical Director. '

Ethics exam cheater.

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"Of course I failed you — your essay was original and unique and obviously written by a human."

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

'We built this city on Rock 'n' Roll, yeah baby. Is not an accurate assessment of our town's history.'

Math Teacher

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"And just how do you expect to become a made man, son, without a solid liberal-arts education?"

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

"If you do well in your first practicum, you can move on to teaching real children."

'People, get a half-life!'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

Geography class - UR Here.

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'We don't know what this is called'

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

"I try to keep my classes relevant."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

K-9 Garten

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

"I wish every teacher came with a warning label."

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

'A restaurateur prepares macaroni and sells it as pasta. I want you to do the same for the educational program at your school.'

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."

'That's from the last year the data was available.'