Education Humor Gifts

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

"We're using analytics now for our teacher evaluations, and it seems your exit velocity at dismissal time is the highest in the school."

'Who screened the career day speakers, Ms Phelps?'

A Puppet Named Juan

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Math Teacher

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

Master's Degrees of the Universe

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

Dept. of Engineering. It's a well-written paper, but a "gyroscope" is not a device for looking at tiny Greek sandwiches.

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

'People, get a half-life!'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

University. I never really understood geometry until the instructor brought up pizzas.

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

Teacher's pet dog

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

String Theory for Beginners.

'We don't know what this is called'

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

Party Schools...