Education Humor Gifts

"He wants to study bacteria to relate to the counter culture."

"We're using analytics now for our teacher evaluations, and it seems your exit velocity at dismissal time is the highest in the school."

'Who screened the career day speakers, Ms Phelps?'

A Puppet Named Juan

On a hot day in 1941, scientists uncovered the only known remains of the elusive nerdosaurus rex,

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

Math Teacher

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

Master's Degrees of the Universe

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

'People, get a half-life!'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

"Look at her...Gracie is intelligent, optimistic, ambitious..I wish she was one more thing."

Teacher's pet dog

'I think I have aixelsyd.'

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."

String Theory for Beginners.

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'I'm taking the 'learn from my mistakes' approach to education.'

'We don't know what this is called'

"I've got the ninth grade chemistry class this term."

"Every sixth grade substitute is offered an optional cyanide pill."

"I don't know about you, but I don't like being a high school guidance counselor."

'This not exactly what I had in mind when I told him about the birds and the bees.'

"And then after high school, I spent twelve years in college and majored in procrastination."