Edgy Pet Lover Gifts

"Too goth?"

"He was a sea rescue."

"What if, instead of the safe being filled with rawhide, it's filled with catnip and mice!" "No one will buy it." "Drugs and rodents? Who's our demographic?" "The Simpsons already did that."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

Roget's Pet

"He was a dog person, I was a cat person, the answer was a ferret."

"Lap fish..."

'Because the horned one commands them to, that's how!'

"What? Don't yuck my yum!"

'Okay, I see it now...lame in the third hind leg on the left side!'

Upper East Side Dog Park

I think the cat wants to go out.

Woman keeping a chicken in her room for fresh eggs

'He won't eat his lettuce until I've washed it five times. I'm sure his OCD is getting worse!'

"I did what you asked and got rid of my white mice."

"He ran out of pee."

Priest with the Pet Devil.

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

Al's Teachers' Pets.

"If you'll excuse me fellas. I have to see a man about a dog. Specifically-this dog."

"Me? I'm taking the dog for a silly walk."

The pet shop of Doctor Moreau

Cat on a psychiatrist's couch: 'Truth is, I'm not really a cat person.'

'It's about that lizard you sold me four months ago.'

'Kittens are cute, but I was thinking lion or tiger.'

'Mutt is very insulting and definitely politically incorrect, but where do I find an animal rights attorney at this hour of the night?'

Fish in Water Cooler.

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

Joey tries to teach his pet rock how to swim.

A sausage dog shrinking after toileting

'It's not art - I just overfed my goldfish!'

'Here, you're allowed to sharpen your claws to your heart's content!'

"I've been feeling needy and it's got me worried."

'See what I mean, Doc?'

"Actually, I would rather have a dog. It's just that we need the eggs."