Eccentrics Gifts

"I don't believe this. You rob a bank, but when we're being chased, you won't run a red light?"t's weird enough that you're making me wear a woollen coat...I'm not going to say 'Bahhh!'"

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Great British Eccentrics.

"Avant-garde jazz hands"

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

'I'm not a magician, but I do keep live doves in my pants.'

"Personally, I of course loved Uncle Clarence, but Mr. Quibbles wants to say a few things."

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

There's a Facebook group for everyone... "Even Toilet Paper Mummies!"

'Don't you ever knock?'

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

'He swallowed some of his acrylic paints and now he's artsy fartsy.'

'And here's the crown jewel of the collection. It's an '86, totally organic, and the UK Bag Manufacturers' Association rates it a 99.'

'My boss collects stupid hats, Is yours for sale?'

"Miss Sadie did remember several pets in her will."

"Love the exposed chessboard."

Rich Man with Lawn Mower followed by Maid with Hoover.

"Ok, here he comes, remember the story, I've had a bad asthma attack..."

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

Tom Waits.

He just fell off the wall. It sounds like a case of "restless egg" syndrome.

'Dad, Dad! Granny's eaten the dog.'

'Well, Dear, if you must roam about the house dressed as a chicken, that's fine, but please close the drapes when you do!'

"That's Julian you can hear, he's really arty-farty this evening"

"I collect fridge magnets that look like little fridges."

"Look what I found. You wouldn't believe the things that people throw out."

Sketchy Neighborhood

If you keep sitting on your paintings, you're going to become an impressionist!

Scientist.

'It's my spare tire. Why do you ask?"

"You have turned out well, my sons. I can go in peace."