Earthquakes Gifts

Fissure waxing - Department of Seismology.

10/03/17 14:03

Right? What are the odds of an earthquake while I'm getting a tattoo?

Earthquake Research Society. The meeting's over already? Yep --- it was called to order at 8:00 and adjourned at 8:02 by a motion from the floor.

Dept. of Seismology. The foundation is fully funding my San Andreas research! They're generous to a fault!

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

Mrs. Richter's Scale.

'Mr. President, our scientist say that the earthquake was caused by an unnamed fault in the Earth's crust.', 'Excellent! -- We'll call it 'Bush's Fault.''

Another long day down at the Bureau of Earthquake Prediction.

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

"When I kiss you the earth moves. Or was that just an aftershock?"

"Would you mind adjusting the vibrate on your phone? There's a seismologist on TV claiming there's been an earthquake in our neighborhood."

"I've thought about what you said, about how plate tectonics will kill us all!"

Fracking Zone - Be prepared for anything.

'I know the marketing budget is stretched...but I still think we need professional models!'

Creative Director skipping through an advertising portfolio.

"Should't we have a better backup system in case our monitoring equipment goes down than a bowl of jello?"

Advertising Agency - "Phew! Fooling some of the people all the time is hard work."

"Here it is - 'Surviving an Earthquake'..."

"An earthquake cracked the building in half. I'd have it fixed, but it's keeping the staff from constantly going to the break room."

I tripped just now over by your bathroom. If I took this to court, I could get six figures. But I'll settle out of court for a lifetime supply of free coffee and donuts. We just had a huge earthquake. If you fell, it was probably because of that. You guys failed to think ahead and put in bouncy floors. Get out.

"Earthquake? You need Tracy Island, this is Tracy Emin Island."

'WOW,this is amazing down here captain, ABSOLUTELY amazing! That quake SURE did a lot of damage to the ocean's floor!'

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

'Some things you just accept when you move to San Andreas.'

"I'm exhausted. Get your own damn tea."

Tear Along this Line.

'...the quake was an aftershock to the latest shift in the prime rate.'

'It's always a little dicey using tectonic plates.'

When geologists argue.

"If they'd had seismic monitors when blasting coal out of the ground during the Industrial Revolution, you lot would have frozen in your hovels."

'Later that day Sally was told that the earthquake measured 6.8 on the Richter scale.'

"Darling, spotting Todd Mason dressed as a woman - was that at the Palio in Siena or at the Day of the Dead in Oaxaca?"

Geology

'It's new and improved because we now have better advertising.'