Earth Ponderers Gifts

"Should we just write them off as a tragic mistake..?"

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

Late BroomStick

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"You can't possibly know how I feel. Everybody likes you."

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

'There must be some way we can capitalize on that damn boson.'

"And, yet another plus, it will block out the sun's harmful ultraviolet rays from a considerable portion of the city."

Formula.

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

Planetary Science. What do we call the study of gas giants in space? Gastronomy.

George Santayana

"What's so galling is that you don't even realize how Earthist you are."

Quiz

"You're right! It is much easier to explain it this way!"

Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune, Earth, Venus, Mars … Mercury … Um, Pluto? Charon? No, Pluto … or Eris? Ugh …

Where Meteorites Come From. Ahh-choo!

'Your North Pole is wobbling - you should see a spin doctor.'

Philosophy of Forestry: 'How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Walt? Roger? Steve? Anyone?'

Entomology. Ant Colony. Ants must worry about their work-life balance.

"Did you ever notice, the snow is always whiter on the other side of the glacier?"

'I wonder how many board feet are in this tree.'

Jupid/Jupiter/Jupidest

Beaver looking at the Hoover dam thinking 'You've got to be kidding me.'

How moons are born...

"If a tree fell into the marsh and there was nobody around to hear it and it landed on a mute swan, would it make a sound?"

A man, walking towards the intersection of ‘Easy Street' and 'Harms Way', runs into the Grim Reaper.

If there are eclipses of the sun and eclipses of the moon, how come there are never any eclipses of the earth? Can we continue this tomorrow? It's getting dark.

The indigo children.

'He's so creative.'

Ernie, we're the first humans to set foot on Mars! This is so exciting! The whole world is watching! Whee! We need to do something for the history books. Woo hoo! Ernie, you're not appreciating the gravity of the situation. What gravity?!

"We should have done this a loooong time ago."

'Okay, who spilled the beans to that Darwin guy?'

"Oh, that's the problem - it was unplugged the whole time!"