Earth Ponderer Gifts

Formula.

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'But what is the universe for?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

The Origins of Everything

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

'Hello Colin, I'm Arthur, any idea what all the fuss is about?'

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

'I'd hire you, but the word is going around you guys are practically extinct!'

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

"Shall we put it in play?"

The Apple Picker Doesn't Fall Far From The Tree....

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

"And, yet another plus, it will block out the sun's harmful ultraviolet rays from a considerable portion of the city."

'Hello, are you an endangered species or can I eat you?'

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

'Harnessing the Black Hole.'

'Who was there to hear the Big Bang?'

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'

"Apparently, over two-thirds of the Earth's surface is covered with water!"

"If the universe is expanding by 3 trillion cubic light years per second, why can't I find an apartment?"