Dynamic Duo In Therapy Pillows

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

Dancing

Couple painting each other - one turns to the other and says, 'Hon, let's hire a model.'

"Hey! These are still good!!"

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"You were right-we should have just split one."

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"I always say; 'You don't need to spend a lot of money to have a good time on a first date."

"Jeremy and I are so in sync, we finish each other's tweets."

Home Business - Printer Ink.

'You don't need separate bedrooms. You need separate computers.'

'Right now he's painting himself in a corner.'

'I understand your reluctance to speak but your marriage is in a rut and your wife needs your input.'

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

"And another thing - I'm tired of you calling my band a 'side project'."

How about swapping wives for the day?

Cell Partners

'Are you still mad at me for calling you a creep in my letter to 'Dear Abby'?'

'I'm a mover and my wife is a shaker -- it works out.'

"It's a new signal to specify that we don't need Robin."

'We're a team - he walks the walk, and I talk the talk!'

Herbert can't read, Janice can't jump, but together they can rule the world!

Sadojazzachists

Dog: "Have you noticed? He looks more like me all the time."

Dance Partners

'Access ME.'

'You want sex?. . . Send me an email.'

"I'm afraid we've lost that loving feeling."

'Hi, I'm Donald and I have been too enthusiastic for forty years.'

Joe and Joe, synchronized thinkers.

Man answers phone in middle of the night annoying his wife.

'Hi honey I'm Home.'