Dinner Dynamic Duo Appreciator Pillows

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Grandma's caf

The Perfect Foil

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

'...and could you refill the vinegar - Genius here thinks it's the wine.'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"You were right-we should have just split one."

"I thought you'd take up something like gardening in your retirement, not parkour."

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

Eye of Newt (evidently the favored hamburger condiment for witches)

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'After you with the camouflage.'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

Cat on cuckoo clock waiting for bird.

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

Home Business - Printer Ink.

"Wait. Let it breathe."

It's not always a good idea for two contrarians like you to be together. Amanda Kern. Comics Counseling. You hear that, you old battle-axe? Yeah, I hear that, you old coot. That'll be $150.

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

Gay couple living together.

"I will avenge the underdone fish that ruined my dinner if it's the last thing I ever do."

'How is the Peking Duck prepared?' 'I'll break it to her gently.'

"We go together like bacon and eggs."

"It's a new signal to specify that we don't need Robin."

'I'm a mover and my wife is a shaker -- it works out.'

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."

Herbert can't read, Janice can't jump, but together they can rule the world!

'It was late, very late, but the peas had touched the mash potatoes, and only dawn could lift the curse.'

Batmansplaining.

'Say 'when' or just think it really hard... I'm also kind of a psychic.'