Dining Duos Pillows

'I'm eating for two now.'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

Wine and Cheese

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

"You were right-we should have just split one."

I guess we're getting too far from the hotel beach...

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

"That cat is just finicky...I think the cat food tastes just fine! How about you, Herb?"

"Couples therapy is not 'going out', Henry!"

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.

"How was the food sir?"

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

Birds.

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

'Do you mind leaving a tip before I wait on you so I can determine my service level for this table?'

Lady playing with bread at the dinner table

'May I caution that the term 'Happy meal' refers to the meal itself rather than to any effect it may have.'

"Just eat the darn thing!"

'I think tonight's the night. He's taking me to a restaurant where they don't put butcher paper and crayons on your table.'

'Smoking section or screaming child section?'

"I have a food question."

"My mistake. It wasn't a mouse, I just dropped my roll."

"Yes, sir, there's a fly in your soup... There's a fly in everybody's soup!"

'Honey, do I like dry wines and rare steaks, or rare wines and dry steaks?'

'Super size mine. Who knows when Mr. Money Bags will take me out grazing again.'