Dining Duos Pillows

'I'm eating for two now.'

'You complimented the chef on his dumplings -now he wishes to return the compliments!'

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Must everything with you be a landmark decision?"

"You know why they make these straws so big? It's a scam to make you drink fast so you can finish quicker and order more."

Man says: 'Great pizza, but the mozzarella was a bit stringy.'

"I'll have the sticky rack of ribs for my main course and something vegan for my Instagram post."

Wine and Cheese

'Norbert, he's playing our ring tone.'

"I suppose I should have let a few minutes elapse between declaring my love for you and announcing that I also loved lobster."

"You were right-we should have just split one."

I guess we're getting too far from the hotel beach...

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

'You're cute when you blow your cool.'

"Are we pessimists and our stomachs are half empty or optimists and our stomachs are half full?"

"That cat is just finicky...I think the cat food tastes just fine! How about you, Herb?"

"Couples therapy is not 'going out', Henry!"

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

"How was the food sir?"

Members of the legal fraternity at their favourite Chinese restaurant: So Su Me.

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

Birds.

'Do you mind leaving a tip before I wait on you so I can determine my service level for this table?'

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

'I think tonight's the night. He's taking me to a restaurant where they don't put butcher paper and crayons on your table.'

"I have a food question."

"Just eat the darn thing!"

'May I caution that the term 'Happy meal' refers to the meal itself rather than to any effect it may have.'

'Smoking section or screaming child section?'

Lady playing with bread at the dinner table

"My mistake. It wasn't a mouse, I just dropped my roll."

"Yes, sir, there's a fly in your soup... There's a fly in everybody's soup!"

"Hello, Sir! Remember me? You were always putting me in detention. . . Would you like to order now?"