Dining Drama Appreciator Pillows

"My husband brings all his friends here, so I'm looking forward to tasting the food."

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Grandma's caf

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

'and for pushing your umbrella button in a VERY crowded elevator.'

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

Eye of Newt (evidently the favored hamburger condiment for witches)

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

Doom & Gloom

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

Victorian Garden Romance

Don Giovanni

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

"All the world's a sitcom and we are but the uncredited extras."

Don Giovanni

'I hear there's a fly in your soup?'

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

"What will change my life?"

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

"How was the food sir?"

"I'm Roberto, and I'll be your waiter this evening. This is Carl. He's in charge of portion control."

Three Little Pigs Cry Wolf.

"Well, it's no wonder those Borgias and Medicis were always poisoning each other."

"I was like 'OMG,' and she was all 'No way', and I was like 'Yes, way', and she was...uh-oh, gotta run."

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

"Waiter - this dish doesn't contain enough adjectives..!"

"How's everything?"

"Here are Monsieur Limace, our sommelier, Monsiere Juron, chef de Cuisine and Mr Kruigshenk, specialist for the beheading of breakfast eggs."

Don Giovanni

Now squeeze sharply five times - that should dislodge the tip from his coat pocket.

"My prescription was for Dramamine, not drama queen!"

"Quick! Tiptoe out and phone the Fire Service!"

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."