Diner Drama Enjoyer Pillows

"Okay, who gets the beef and who gets the ants?"

'Before I order breakfast, which way is it to the 'International Bathroom of Pancakes'?'

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

Tuna Salad, Meat Loaf, Cheese Omelet and Bean Soup

'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!' 'That's not soup! It's gumbo.'

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

'I'm afraid the Chef's Surprise today is that he ran off with one of the waitresses.'

"What do you recommend today?"

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'So, not your favourite restuarant anymore...'

"Hope I like it? Are you kidding me? Grass is my FAVOURITE!"

F&E Diner. You asked for a hot breakfast, so I put some jalapenos on your corn flakes!

"... Wine list? No, we don't have a wine list! Perhaps I can get sir something from the vending machine?"

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

'Home-made pie will be quick, I only live 10 minutes from here.'

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

'I hear there's a fly in your soup?'

'Macaroni and cheese, three nights in a row?... That's justifiable homicide in my book!'

"What will change my life?"

Bob ordered the breakfast special of bacon with two eggs served any way he wanted.

'Hey!! Put your plate in the dishwasher!'

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Cook Book. The cookbooks are just Ernie's way of shifting the blame.

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

"How was the food sir?"

We don't have poached eggs. How about an elephant tusk?'

"Waiter - this dish doesn't contain enough adjectives..!"

"How's everything?"

Now squeeze sharply five times - that should dislodge the tip from his coat pocket.

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."

TGI Doomsday.