Dutch Disaster Humor Gifts

Save the Lowlands or put away his loose stamps?

'Well, there's something you don't see every day'

"Fred's calculating what future natural catastrophes he can ignore based on his probably life span."

"You overwatered the plant, again."

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

Suez Canal Curse

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

A child with a parasol is blown off the Chain Pier in Brighton

"I think we can agree that the bridge collapsing is not a good thing."

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

'And the good news is - we're in deep doo-doo.'

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

'That Noah's some sailor, the World is covered in water and he runs aground!'

"OK, now here comes the lava."

'You called a plumber!'

"I'm charging extra to remove the duct tape you thought would work."

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."

Luck

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

'I can see the sea!'

Flood victims see travel agent's advertising Venice

'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'

"... Till death us do part."

"Hey! Who put gas in this bucket?!"

'When the fire department arrives, Ms. Lilly... send them right in!'

'Pretend you don't notice San Andreas.'

"So apart from the minor hiccup...how was your cruise?"

Forest Fire Hazard

The end is nigh.

Of all the days to sleep in!