Dugout Humorist Gifts

'The team has decided to make some roster changes, Hughes. We're gonna cut you loose.'

Skiing.

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Irritable trowel syndrome.

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

"Well if it comes to that you're not exactly Mr Wonderful."

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

'Clayton enjoys living on the edge,'

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

"Have you farted. . . ?"

'Food fight!'

Ranger has sign saying 'Do not feed the bears'. Bear crosses out sign to read 'Feed the bears'.

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

"She never took to the leash."

"Yes, I do know how to light a fire with two sticks... Provided one of them is a match."

Fly fishing.

Fish Training

TWIN-KILLING CHOREOGRAPHY

"My human can't tell which end is which."

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.

'Steady Lulu, steady, ...HEEL!' - The Rare Poodle Retriever.

Duck hunter: 'UH-OH' A Duck hunter has accidentally shot down an Angel

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

'I always come outside for a smoke.'

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

'Laugh, but he works better than an insect repellent.'

"Do you hear dueling tubas?"

'We're going into cold water and HE'S drinking the hot chocolate!'

"Meteorites have been annoying this summer."