Dugout Philosopher Gifts

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"You always rush out and high-dive me when I homer. How 'bout a bug when I whiff?"

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

"I play 'backside'. My backside is always on the bench."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

Ban on Free Speech

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

Humans...What is their purpose?

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

Historical memory is on life support.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Voltaire

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

Jean-Paul Sartre

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."