Dugout Dwellers Gifts

"Thats for missing the bunt sign!" "Yeah, and that's for striking out on ball four, you loser!"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Mohammad's motors

'Have you had a brazilian?'

Upper West Side Story

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

Florist "Say it with cacti"

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Hard to believe this was all rain forest just fifteen years ago."

"Alright be cool. We're just gonna ask for an autograph and be on our way."

"Thank you."

'I'm really thirsty.'

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"Efficiency tombs available"

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

"Scat!"

"Can you give me some you haven't chewed on already."

'Don't just stand there! Take me to your leader!'

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

'I can't get John to do a thing to the garden!'