Dugout Dwellers T-Shirts

"Thats for missing the bunt sign!" "Yeah, and that's for striking out on ball four, you loser!"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

Cat says of armadillo, 'It's one of those big armored rats.'

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

"As near as I can figure, we're in the Unpainted Desert!"

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

Kid arrives with CCTV camera, saying: 'It followed me home, can we keep it?'

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Mohammad's motors

'Have you had a brazilian?'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

Upper West Side Story

"I travel Prada whenever I can."

Florist "Say it with cacti"

'...And as suburban sprawl continues to grow, many people are finding themselves living uncomfortably close to their wildlife neighbors.'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"A cactus! Darling, you're such a romantic..."

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

"Hard to believe this was all rain forest just fifteen years ago."

"Efficiency tombs available"

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

"Alright be cool. We're just gonna ask for an autograph and be on our way."

'I'm really thirsty.'

Implausible Retirement Housing Options

You have the flu. Get plenty of rest and avoid lots of fluids.

"Thank you."

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

"Scat!"

Boss, I got your memo. Why can't I talk about the ancient pyramids with the patrons? You misread that, minion. I want you to talk about the pyramids even more. Throw in the Sphinx, while you're at it. I've noticed a 4.35 spike in sales of cold drinks every time you bring up desert-based topics. You're taking all the fun out of human interaction. From now on, you're to carry around a small cactus at all times.

'Don't just stand there! Take me to your leader!'

"Can you give me some you haven't chewed on already."