Dugout Dramatist Gifts

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Shakespeare's Lost Play: The Taming of the Pooch.

A man taking a bow

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

Performance In The Bedroom

Ham-Dram

Now Playing On Your Phone: Other People's Craft Projects....

TWIN-KILLING CHOREOGRAPHY

Arsene Wenger

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'My client's defense is that the bank was an attractive nuisance.'

The Amateurs.

Stretcher Header.

Dugout sale!

"Where's the fire, pal?"

'The pitcher calls a time out and walks toward the dugout. He's signaling the front office, and it looks like they're bringing out a new manager.'

The Five Major Rule Changes in Major League Baseball.

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

'Sorry, coach, but all of the bases are loaded.'

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"

Articled clerks discussing amateur dramatics

'The team has decided to make some roster changes, Hughes. We're gonna cut you loose.'

"I AM at my usual position."

'We still can't afford to modernize the visitors dugout.'

'We've put him back together, now we need to think about an exit strategy.'

"Thats for missing the bunt sign!" "Yeah, and that's for striking out on ball four, you loser!"

'OK, Mrs. Huber. Why don't you step over here and start trying on some of these, and we'll make your case iron-clad.'

Man is dismayed at being asked to shave his whiskers for his role in a play

"I play 'backside'. My backside is always on the bench."

"You always rush out and high-dive me when I homer. How 'bout a bug when I whiff?"