Dugout Detective Gifts

'We still can't afford to modernize the visitors dugout.'

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Baseball batting cage theater La Cage Aux Folles.

'Dad, do you you think there's s**t on other planets?'

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"That's Gilbey's hat and Gilbey's binoculars, but that's definitely not Gilbey."

TWIN-KILLING CHOREOGRAPHY

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

Federal witness protection agency.

"President Whipple couldn't make it."

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'

Arsene Wenger

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

'Go ahead and dig, you said! what are the odds there's a pipe right there, you said!'

'The pitcher calls a time out and walks toward the dugout. He's signaling the front office, and it looks like they're bringing out a new manager.'

'No, I thought you were John Simpson.'

Not only have we been laid off, but, being small, we can crawl through air ducts with ease.

Dugout sale!

"I believe the doughnuts were planted in my squad car in an effort to discredit me."

The Five Major Rule Changes in Major League Baseball.

'Oh thats just Lady Gaga going to the shops.'

'Sorry, coach, but all of the bases are loaded.'

"Hackers uncover the on-hold doodles of George Clooney."

'How much tax can I avoid by becoming a Philanthropist?'

"Are you mad at me or just chewing tobacco?"

"I don't like it - now Jeff has disappeared."