Dugout Humorist T-Shirts

'The team has decided to make some roster changes, Hughes. We're gonna cut you loose.'

Skiing.

"Damn those dugout Martinis!"

Irritable trowel syndrome.

"Well if it comes to that you're not exactly Mr Wonderful."

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

Mountain climbers, "Someone's been here before us."

"Only 150 kids? - Have you considered fertility treatment?"

"Have you farted. . . ?"

'Clayton enjoys living on the edge,'

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"Perhaps I should have warned you...They really don't like wholemeal bread."

'Food fight!'

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

Ranger has sign saying 'Do not feed the bears'. Bear crosses out sign to read 'Feed the bears'.

"Have you ever actually seen a chicken cross the road?"

"Yes, I do know how to light a fire with two sticks... Provided one of them is a match."

"She never took to the leash."

Fly fishing.

TWIN-KILLING CHOREOGRAPHY

'Organically-grown popcorn? Give me a break!'

Fish Training

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"My human can't tell which end is which."

Eat the grass in perfect circles. It drives them crazy.

'Steady Lulu, steady, ...HEEL!' - The Rare Poodle Retriever.

'They say the bears are very aggressive here.'

"No, you hang up first. No, you!"

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

"Meteorites have been annoying this summer."

'Laugh, but he works better than an insect repellent.'

"I don’t remember there being a tip jar the last time we were here."

"Do you hear dueling tubas?"

'We're going into cold water and HE'S drinking the hot chocolate!'