Doughnut Humorist Gifts

'Your fat free bit, is right there, in the middle!'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

No Soliciting

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

Rude Snowpeople

"Now turn your head and bark."

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'You've had enough!'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"She never took to the leash."

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

Hot dog warmer

'Sometimes I like to dunk mine in a nice hot cup of coffee.'

'I can't help you, it seems you really are npsycuts!'

"My human can't tell which end is which."

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

'This jury will disregard the donuts and festive decorations provided by the defense.'

'I'm afraid you're just going to have to accept that dogs just don't like you.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'