Doughnut Humorist Gifts

'Your fat free bit, is right there, in the middle!'

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"He's no hat and all corgis."

No Soliciting

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'I'd like to return this, please.'

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

"Pssst. Fake poop."

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"Now turn your head and bark."

Rude Snowpeople

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'You've had enough!'

"Of course I've been drinking!"

"Then he suggested we go to a leash optional beach."

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

"Sometimes Bob wags when he's happy—but these days, it usually means he just tooted."

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"There are those who say I'm a throwback to Monet."

'Doctor, did you say 5 minutes of traction, or 5 hours?'

'Trouble is, he rubbed my nose in it'

"Ma'am, do you realize how fast you were... going?"

"Look, Mommy. Puppy already knows a trick! What should we call him?" "How about 'Scooter.'"

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"She never took to the leash."

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

"My human can't tell which end is which."

'I can't help you, it seems you really are npsycuts!'

'Sometimes I like to dunk mine in a nice hot cup of coffee.'

The Poodle and The Twooudle.

Hot dog warmer

'Looks like another typical caffeine overdose.'

'This jury will disregard the donuts and festive decorations provided by the defense.'

'While you're 'fixing' my private parts, could you give me a loaner pair?'

'Test results are back. Coffee, donuts, sleep deprivation. Doc, you've got to start taking better care of yourself.'